Alright so it's late, I should probably go to sleep because I graduate in about 13 hours and I know I just wrote one like two days ago but I could not resist.
I just got home about an hour ago from the kenny chesney concert and from Ihop. Long ass day but pretty much awesome. But here I go rambling, to the point.
So there was several performers at the concert, the main focus being kenny chesney who had a kick ass performance. As good as it was, it was not the one that i thought was the best though. I'd never really been much of a fan of sugarland, the music isn't bad but I'm usually into that fun country and most of her music was always too serious. I realized how serious today. I'd never seen something done with so much passion as when she sang the song "stay". It was just amazing.
The girl sang her heart out, looked almost like she was close to crying, it gave me goosebumps. I just feel like that one song, maybe just the chorus to it made my day better on some real shit, just incredible. I just wonder how much better the world would be if everyone did things with as much passion and love as she put into this song. It makes me want to put passion and love into everything i do.
Kenny Chesney did a hell of a job too. He didn't have a song that stood out to me on a passionate level like she did but he did have a kick ass performance. I was really impressed when he continued his performance even through the rain, i dont think lil' wayne would do something like that. It just shows that he cares about what he is doing and wants to do the best job possible.
i feel like success changes people sometimes, I know it does. Not every performance was great tonight but some were and you can tell that the money did change these people. They are still doing it because they love it, not because it pays the bills as well. I dusted off Kanye's "graduation" this weekend. Not because I'm graduating today even though it may have helped but because it is such an amazingly passionate album. Everytime I play it, it just makes everything better and i feel like I need to be happy with all this uncertainty ahead of me.
You cant really see this in acting, the passion. Sometimes i guess so, but these people get paid to be fake so its just not the same. Music and writing is where the real passion is at. Sometimes sports as well but you can just see where some athletes get lazy because they get paid to play and get paid a shitton. I will admit though, some are deserving of it.
But here I am again just rambling about my opinions on who is passionate and who is not...
The lesson I have taken from tonight and hope to pass on to other people is that in everything you do, do it with passion. You may just rub off on another and they may just be somewhat more passionate in everything you do. Regardless if you are the best or most popular at what your are doing, you will be noticed for putting your heart into it. As unnoticed as you may feel, you are gonna have an impact on someone. Passion, like many other adverbs is contagious. If you put passion in to whatever you do, you have done your best, you can not be disappointed in yourself because your best is not as good as someone else's. You are not at fault for being the lesser, they are at fault for being the better. Someone is always better at something. That's the way it is and will always be and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't overlook that your better, can also make someone else better as well.
just remember: "your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character defines who you are.."
think with passion, and become a passionate person
I hope this puts the passion into everything that ya'll do.
-->Alex Richey<--
(soon to be perfected)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Epilogue of High School
So it's a little after midnight, I still consider it thursday but technically it's friday. Here in just about seven hours or so I'll be waking up to walk into Clarksville High School for my very last day in there as a student, considering the next time I will be in there I will be graduating.
Yesterday(wednesday) I took my very last high school final exam ever and today(thursday), I sat in a high school classroom for the last time in my life as a student. It's funny how things are now that I look at them in a past perspective. Even though I had planned on writing this blog for a few days now the feeling of the reality of all this happening had not really hit me until about two hours ago.
I really didn't know what was going through my mind but it just seemed to be an undeniable nervousness. I know exactly what to expect of what I'm about to go through this weekend but earlier tonight I spent about 30 minutes feeling scared. However, in my mind I was not, just my body was reacting in that way. I couldn't stop shaking, I don't know why. It was an involuntary action, like a shiver but I wasn't cold, no goosebumps. Maybe it was bringing all that stuff home from school today, the locker that had been mine for the entirety of my senior year, now empty with only the words "Alex Jordan Richey Class of 2009" written in it. So unreal...
I've stopped the nervous shakings but I still feel the urge of convulsions... some what like a cold chill but not so much. I'll be fine in the morning, it's just weird to think about it; "It's all over". When it comes tournament time in sports you hear things like "time to leave it all on the field/court" well now it's time to leave it all in the school. Everything we have done up to this point is no longer relevant up until the point we graduate. It's time to grow up and no longer worry about the drama we went through, the sports we played, the trouble we got in, the grades we made.. Unless of course these are things that you HAVE to take with you, like perhaps your playin a college sport or your still with your high school sweetheart. Goodluck with that one coming out of my school though.
I've been doing a lot of thinking (uh oh), about how I'm going to take this, how others will do the same, what to write in this blog and what to call it. Also, a way to relate this situation that we are going through to something simple and easy to explain. This took a lot of thinking but I'm good at that so I'm pretty satisfied with what I came up with.
High school is not a chapter of your life, don't make the mistake of thinking so. How many good books are actually just good books? Umm zero except for a very select few, they are all good series. Think about Harry Potter, the Series of Unfortunate Events, the Ender's Game books, all great series' and I'm sure there is more I'm leaving out. Here's how I'm relating it to life... High school is a book in the series of life, not a chapter in the book of it. Life is way too long of a story for high school to be a chapter, or even four chapters, it's a story in itself. This is why I named this "epilogue". An epilogue is a concluding part added to a literary work, usually a novel(dictionary.com). High school is about over, we will soon be closing the book so and these are the final pages of it.
For me it's been a pretty good book. Full of ups and downs just as anyones' would be but what's not to expect? At the end of the day, the protagonist comes out on top, just as I am about to do. Tomorrow I'll be recieving a scholarship that is worth about an estimated $26,000 a year for four years. Hell yes I mean that. That's just one, I'm getting more money as well. Also, I found out wednesday that I'll be recieving an academic honors diploma which I wasn't completely confident that I would do but I did it.
Anyone writing a review on it I'm sure would be satisfied with what they read and would have plenty to write about in the review. I'm not feeling an autobiography of high school though so that probably won't happen lol...
It's just crazy to think about how I look back and I remember the last day of highschool my freshman year pretty well. I don't remember my finals or really the order of my classes but I could tell you exactly what I wore, I could tell you exactly what I did after school. Me and Mike hung out about an hour afterwards waiting on a ride because it was about 94 degrees outside and we wasn't down to walk to his crib. We hung out it the cafeteria on the steps for a while and hung out in Ms. Badger's room who I didn't even personally know at the time but has come to be one of the most influencial people I have ever met. Man, I really miss those days, miss being best friends with mike but still today despite all the time we don't spend together, when we talk we still act like brothers. Today on my last day of school me and him skipped third period together and went and sat on the steps of the cafeteria, just like we did our freshman year on the last day and just talked and reminisced about it all... We were both kind of just caught off gaurd at how fast it has all came and went...
Congradulations Class of 2009, all of us.
I just have one question,
How good was your book?
-->Alex Richey<--
Yesterday(wednesday) I took my very last high school final exam ever and today(thursday), I sat in a high school classroom for the last time in my life as a student. It's funny how things are now that I look at them in a past perspective. Even though I had planned on writing this blog for a few days now the feeling of the reality of all this happening had not really hit me until about two hours ago.
I really didn't know what was going through my mind but it just seemed to be an undeniable nervousness. I know exactly what to expect of what I'm about to go through this weekend but earlier tonight I spent about 30 minutes feeling scared. However, in my mind I was not, just my body was reacting in that way. I couldn't stop shaking, I don't know why. It was an involuntary action, like a shiver but I wasn't cold, no goosebumps. Maybe it was bringing all that stuff home from school today, the locker that had been mine for the entirety of my senior year, now empty with only the words "Alex Jordan Richey Class of 2009" written in it. So unreal...
I've stopped the nervous shakings but I still feel the urge of convulsions... some what like a cold chill but not so much. I'll be fine in the morning, it's just weird to think about it; "It's all over". When it comes tournament time in sports you hear things like "time to leave it all on the field/court" well now it's time to leave it all in the school. Everything we have done up to this point is no longer relevant up until the point we graduate. It's time to grow up and no longer worry about the drama we went through, the sports we played, the trouble we got in, the grades we made.. Unless of course these are things that you HAVE to take with you, like perhaps your playin a college sport or your still with your high school sweetheart. Goodluck with that one coming out of my school though.
I've been doing a lot of thinking (uh oh), about how I'm going to take this, how others will do the same, what to write in this blog and what to call it. Also, a way to relate this situation that we are going through to something simple and easy to explain. This took a lot of thinking but I'm good at that so I'm pretty satisfied with what I came up with.
High school is not a chapter of your life, don't make the mistake of thinking so. How many good books are actually just good books? Umm zero except for a very select few, they are all good series. Think about Harry Potter, the Series of Unfortunate Events, the Ender's Game books, all great series' and I'm sure there is more I'm leaving out. Here's how I'm relating it to life... High school is a book in the series of life, not a chapter in the book of it. Life is way too long of a story for high school to be a chapter, or even four chapters, it's a story in itself. This is why I named this "epilogue". An epilogue is a concluding part added to a literary work, usually a novel(dictionary.com). High school is about over, we will soon be closing the book so and these are the final pages of it.
For me it's been a pretty good book. Full of ups and downs just as anyones' would be but what's not to expect? At the end of the day, the protagonist comes out on top, just as I am about to do. Tomorrow I'll be recieving a scholarship that is worth about an estimated $26,000 a year for four years. Hell yes I mean that. That's just one, I'm getting more money as well. Also, I found out wednesday that I'll be recieving an academic honors diploma which I wasn't completely confident that I would do but I did it.
Anyone writing a review on it I'm sure would be satisfied with what they read and would have plenty to write about in the review. I'm not feeling an autobiography of high school though so that probably won't happen lol...
It's just crazy to think about how I look back and I remember the last day of highschool my freshman year pretty well. I don't remember my finals or really the order of my classes but I could tell you exactly what I wore, I could tell you exactly what I did after school. Me and Mike hung out about an hour afterwards waiting on a ride because it was about 94 degrees outside and we wasn't down to walk to his crib. We hung out it the cafeteria on the steps for a while and hung out in Ms. Badger's room who I didn't even personally know at the time but has come to be one of the most influencial people I have ever met. Man, I really miss those days, miss being best friends with mike but still today despite all the time we don't spend together, when we talk we still act like brothers. Today on my last day of school me and him skipped third period together and went and sat on the steps of the cafeteria, just like we did our freshman year on the last day and just talked and reminisced about it all... We were both kind of just caught off gaurd at how fast it has all came and went...
Congradulations Class of 2009, all of us.
I just have one question,
How good was your book?
-->Alex Richey<--
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Countdown.
So as of just a few days ago I am officially a University of Evansville student. Putting in that deposit and filling out that form was just like a huge relief, a just lift off my chest because it has been stessful getting to this point, becoming official. Feels very liberating.
But at the same time it's just an empty feeling.
I'm sure I can relate it to what my 18th birthday is gonna feel like here in a couple of weeks since there will be no real advantages to me turning 18, except the club I guess (wowee)... What I'm sayin is I don't feel any different, I haven't actually moved in yet and I still have like 3.5 months so I'm sure it will hit me right around then.
You figure I would just be overjoyed but I'm far from that. I find trouble being happy nowadays with this feeling of dramatic change creeping up on me. I can't even remember the last time I was really happy, I don't really remember a time being extremely sad either it's just been all empty, emotionless. It's just reality having trouble setting in, and I'm not living in a dream world because this is not the way I want to necessarily be feeling.
When I first decided I wanted to attend UE all I could think about is the positives. The getting out on my own, the make my own rules, be my own person, take on some responsibility, COLLEGE lol, all that good stuff... Now that reality is starting to set in, not entirely but some is surely, I'm starting to realize negatives at the same time. There is not enough negative to make me change my mind but it has given me many nights of little sleep because of the constant consideration of what I will be missing. And then the actual realization....
I'm scared.
Is that so wrong? And it's not the scared of going, but the scare of leaving.. Know what I mean? I'm totally stoked to go to UE but I'm not totally stoked about leaving home anymore, not like I used to be.
Oh mann, I couldn't wait to get out of here, it was all I could think about of talk about. I was getting so sick of this place. I didn't think to stop and realize that I actually love it a lot. It's just some of the people I don't like being around. I see too much failure and I can't stand being surrounded by it anymore and I just wanted to get away.
Then I get to thinkin bout some of the things I'm gonna miss, the things that keep me up at night.
Well, its mainly the people of course. Like, I havent done a lot this year since my crew all went away to college so i just kinda laid low but I still do a little here and there and of course I have some friends. It's mainly the people that I hang out with the least, my graduating class. I really don't hang out with many of these people anymore but when I think about these are the people that I have been going to school with for up to 12 years now and that stops at the end of this year. Some of them, like Ty I have known all my life pretty much and we prolly won't talk a whole lot after graduation because we are going separate ways. It's kinda a harsh realization but it's reality, things like that happen and there's not much of anything to be done bout it, not really any point of trying either. Some of the other people I'm graduating with this year though, like the ones I hang out with if I'm ever with clarksville people. I realize that I've been trying to get closer to these people because I notice that this is our last year together so it's almost like a waste of time. I probably won't talk to many of them after June 1st. Growin up is a killer, and I'm at death's door.
Of course its not just high school it's always much more on my mind.
I think about one of my best friends, haven't even known him for a year but michael chrisman is my dude. Well he's a junior, he's still in high school after this year, whats gonna come of us? I mean I'm sure he'll make it up to Evansville occasionally like I did for brandon cuz thats what homies do. I'm sure I have nothing to worry bout but its just one of the many things I consider.
Then there is family, not so much my mom or dad because that's unconditional but my two closest cousins in particular. I miss Mckenna everyday with her being at western and we usually spend time together when she comes home but what about when I go to college too? What about when we both get out of college and we're adults with jobs? I don't know of many cousins that hang out a lot as adults and the thought kinda scares me.
And not to forget to secoy. We've gotten to be much closer as cousins lately and I don't want that to stop. That's one thing I have always wanted is to be closer to my family and now it's happening, I don't want that to be taken away. Hopefully because we are family, we can stick together. It's probably something I really don't need to worry about but at the same time I do. And through her I have all these great new friends that my friendship with them will be short lived because the majority of us are graduating and going on to do different things.
There's just so much that I realize that I could be missing when I go away, and even when I do come back, I could possibly forget these people, or be the forgotten one. We all want our friendships to last forever but people get weeded out by life. It's involuntary, you don't want it to happen but it does, and there is nothing you can to about that. You start to see what's necessary, what's actually important and you don't even notice that your doing it, your involuntary conscience does it for you. Just weeds them right out...
It starts to hit you, the things that your gonna miss. Your family of course and the relationships that you may have with people, may they be ones of significance or just friendships, I know that I'm missing out on both. You gotta make the right choice though and UE is the one for me. I mean I'm sure I could keep a relationship together over the distance but it takes two to do that. It's okay though, prolly won't be missing too much if they were too scared to try, but ya never know how something will go if ya never give it the chance to happen right?
I guess I should go ahead and get started on my goodbye's, because they actually will be goodbye's. Only a few "see ya soon's"... I'm gonna miss ya'll.
-->Alex Richey<--
But at the same time it's just an empty feeling.
I'm sure I can relate it to what my 18th birthday is gonna feel like here in a couple of weeks since there will be no real advantages to me turning 18, except the club I guess (wowee)... What I'm sayin is I don't feel any different, I haven't actually moved in yet and I still have like 3.5 months so I'm sure it will hit me right around then.
You figure I would just be overjoyed but I'm far from that. I find trouble being happy nowadays with this feeling of dramatic change creeping up on me. I can't even remember the last time I was really happy, I don't really remember a time being extremely sad either it's just been all empty, emotionless. It's just reality having trouble setting in, and I'm not living in a dream world because this is not the way I want to necessarily be feeling.
When I first decided I wanted to attend UE all I could think about is the positives. The getting out on my own, the make my own rules, be my own person, take on some responsibility, COLLEGE lol, all that good stuff... Now that reality is starting to set in, not entirely but some is surely, I'm starting to realize negatives at the same time. There is not enough negative to make me change my mind but it has given me many nights of little sleep because of the constant consideration of what I will be missing. And then the actual realization....
I'm scared.
Is that so wrong? And it's not the scared of going, but the scare of leaving.. Know what I mean? I'm totally stoked to go to UE but I'm not totally stoked about leaving home anymore, not like I used to be.
Oh mann, I couldn't wait to get out of here, it was all I could think about of talk about. I was getting so sick of this place. I didn't think to stop and realize that I actually love it a lot. It's just some of the people I don't like being around. I see too much failure and I can't stand being surrounded by it anymore and I just wanted to get away.
Then I get to thinkin bout some of the things I'm gonna miss, the things that keep me up at night.
Well, its mainly the people of course. Like, I havent done a lot this year since my crew all went away to college so i just kinda laid low but I still do a little here and there and of course I have some friends. It's mainly the people that I hang out with the least, my graduating class. I really don't hang out with many of these people anymore but when I think about these are the people that I have been going to school with for up to 12 years now and that stops at the end of this year. Some of them, like Ty I have known all my life pretty much and we prolly won't talk a whole lot after graduation because we are going separate ways. It's kinda a harsh realization but it's reality, things like that happen and there's not much of anything to be done bout it, not really any point of trying either. Some of the other people I'm graduating with this year though, like the ones I hang out with if I'm ever with clarksville people. I realize that I've been trying to get closer to these people because I notice that this is our last year together so it's almost like a waste of time. I probably won't talk to many of them after June 1st. Growin up is a killer, and I'm at death's door.
Of course its not just high school it's always much more on my mind.
I think about one of my best friends, haven't even known him for a year but michael chrisman is my dude. Well he's a junior, he's still in high school after this year, whats gonna come of us? I mean I'm sure he'll make it up to Evansville occasionally like I did for brandon cuz thats what homies do. I'm sure I have nothing to worry bout but its just one of the many things I consider.
Then there is family, not so much my mom or dad because that's unconditional but my two closest cousins in particular. I miss Mckenna everyday with her being at western and we usually spend time together when she comes home but what about when I go to college too? What about when we both get out of college and we're adults with jobs? I don't know of many cousins that hang out a lot as adults and the thought kinda scares me.
And not to forget to secoy. We've gotten to be much closer as cousins lately and I don't want that to stop. That's one thing I have always wanted is to be closer to my family and now it's happening, I don't want that to be taken away. Hopefully because we are family, we can stick together. It's probably something I really don't need to worry about but at the same time I do. And through her I have all these great new friends that my friendship with them will be short lived because the majority of us are graduating and going on to do different things.
There's just so much that I realize that I could be missing when I go away, and even when I do come back, I could possibly forget these people, or be the forgotten one. We all want our friendships to last forever but people get weeded out by life. It's involuntary, you don't want it to happen but it does, and there is nothing you can to about that. You start to see what's necessary, what's actually important and you don't even notice that your doing it, your involuntary conscience does it for you. Just weeds them right out...
It starts to hit you, the things that your gonna miss. Your family of course and the relationships that you may have with people, may they be ones of significance or just friendships, I know that I'm missing out on both. You gotta make the right choice though and UE is the one for me. I mean I'm sure I could keep a relationship together over the distance but it takes two to do that. It's okay though, prolly won't be missing too much if they were too scared to try, but ya never know how something will go if ya never give it the chance to happen right?
I guess I should go ahead and get started on my goodbye's, because they actually will be goodbye's. Only a few "see ya soon's"... I'm gonna miss ya'll.
-->Alex Richey<--
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