So I'm just gonna put this out there, I'm one of the realest people, if not the realest person I know. Yeah, sounds a little cocky, which I'm not trying to be but that's the way it came out. I'm real with everybody, about everything. And no, it hasn't always been that way but I have been the person that I am for well over a year now so it's probably been about that long. I've been the Alex Jordan Richey that I am since early in my junior year of highschool. Since I guess you could say I found where I belong and the friends in which I belong with. My niche.
No more little Alex Richey the little boy that is sad on the inside all the time and don't talk to many people if anyone at all about it, instead spills pain through the pen onto the personal little notebook or onto the keyboard typing blogs about how sh*tty I am feeling at the time. That's not me anymore, nor has that been me for a while now. I birthed a new me, evolved I guess but of course I didn't turn into a perfect person, just a better one. But nobody is perfect, duh...
I became a real person, and a really happy person most of time. No, I haven't completely changed, I'm still Alex Richey and I will always be me. There will always be some of me that most people don't know, but they really don't need to either. I'm still capable of blowing minds by writing an incredible blog about how I feel on a topic, by letting people get a sample of what goes on in my head which is more complex than most. I assure you that... There is definitely a lot goin' on up there.
But rewind to the top for a minute. There is something wrong, that's why I'm having this "intervention" with myself. Like I said, I'm one of the realest people you will ever meet, that's just who I choose to be. I'm real with everyone.... Everyone except myself.
That's right!!!!! Little ol' me is the only one I lie to. I'm real and honest with everybody but I just caught myself today, being unreal, and untrue to myself. Letting my mind try to convince me of things that aren't right for me. Not one thing in specific but I realized that I haven't been real with myself in a lot of ways but I'm real with everyone else in everyway.
I was listening to my Charles Hamilton today (that's everyday now lol) and it was the "Intervention" mixtape actually and I caught this line he said in one of his songs called "Supernatural Vacation" it said...
"The only person I gotta worry about being real to is me."
I was like "Damn, this dude has a point. Why didn't I think of that?" And that's not even what inspired me to write this today, I was already thinkin' about doin' it, that just gave me a little extra push I guess.
So I decided that that is what I'm gonna do, kinda. I'm not gonna change the way I am to other people, I'm still gonna be 100% real. No fake sh*t because I can't stand fake people and I don't want to be something I hate. I'm not saying that I hated myself before I got hit with this epiphany because I wasn't fake to anyone but myself, therefore I didn't realize. Blind to it I guess.
Now I see, and now I have found myself. I'm no longer going to let outside forces influence who I am. I'm going to be influence by Alex Jordan Richey. Can't really ask for a better person to be influenced by lol.
I'm writing in the sky now, leaving a positive impression on everything I touch.
I have started to figure out what I want to do with my life, post high school. I know I plan on attending the University of Evansville and I was pretty sure that it was set in stone, until I got my report card last week. I had a 2.7 gpa. I TWO POINT MUTHA F*CKIN SEVEN! Seriously, I'm so much smarter than that, it was just one class that f*cked me. Now this is an example of where I was being unreal with myself. I was letting the outside forces influence my work in the classroom. Someone who is real with themselves wouldn't allow something like that to happen. Now I gotta pick up slack, make sure I bust my ass to make up for my f*ck up. Gotta be real with myself and do what's best for number one, me duh...
I didn't know what was going on with me, now I have an idea.
Like I was thinking about some of the stuff I do, I might sound so nice to other people but I realize how stupid I sound to myself. This is me, I sometimes let a little too much of my personal side out to people, but that's just me being real to them and I try to get people to open up in return but not everybody is gonna be real with you in return so it don't always happen. People tell me about how they got sh*t going on in their head that bothers them too. I tell them that it is okay to cry. Which it is, crying is a healthy process that the body undergoes to relieve stress. We should do it. Then they ask me if I do.... Well no, not really. Then I realize what a hypocrite I am. I tell people that it is okay to let your emotions out, and be real with themselves, and here I am. I haven't cried since 8th grade when Bailey died. And I balled my eyes out in school. I ain't gonna lie about it because I loved that damn dog lol. But seriously, who am I to try to tell people what they should do because it is better for them and I don't even do whats best for me? Unbelieveable...
Time to get real with me...
Today somebody told me that I have girl problems... No not quite, I told them that girls have a problem with me. They were talkin' bout how I'm usually unsure about my female situation. Which is true but at the same time I don't consider it my problem because I know what I want, but most females never know what they want. Sorry ladies, but it's true. WELL... Today I feel like I realized another flaw. No, I will not correct myself on what I just wrote but I feel like I don't want these things quite as much as I thought. Instead after some thought, and a talk with my girl Cassy after school today who seemed to know more about what I wanted then I knew myself. Well I'm more sure now than ever on what I want to do about this topic. Time to get real with me. It's about doin' what makes me happy and what is the best for me.
I'm finally a 100% real dude and I'm surrounded with real.
My friend Brandon once said "Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."
Now you can interpret this in anyway you like too. Like, tomorrow is not promised to us so we gotta make the best of today and every day. That type of thing. Or you can think about those days, like I had today. I really learned something about myself, something that is gonna help me live my life to the fullest. Now what kinda gift is better than that?
If you took time to read My Intervention, I appreciate it, REAL TALK lol. I'm just trying to improve me and I hope that seeing me become better might just help somebody else do the same.
The hardest thing to find is yourself, but you will never find a treasure of greater value.
I think I'm gonna write that in the sky...
-->Alex Richey<--
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