Warm Summer Nights

Remember that old saying, "You want what you can't have" or some bullsh*t like that? Of course you do, we all do. And we all probably think it's a bunch of.. well, bullsh*t lol.

I know I do, well did atleast. The truth is self-evident now.

I remember, few months back, I kinda had this thing for this one girl and I think she had a thing for me in return but I'm not really sure, that's not the point anyways really. We talked a little bit, texted eachother a lot, and saw eachother a lot too at work lol. Well we never had a relationship. I'm not saying I wanted one, I really just wanted to get to know her a little better (she was one of those secretive types), but she thought I wanted to get with her. We was talkin' one night after we was sure that we didn't have anykind of realationship happening and I remember her saying "You only wanted me because you couldn't have me." I was like damn, that kinda f*cked up lol. It wasn't true of course because I did like her kinda, and didn't really want the realtionship for sure either. It just made me mad because I'm not the kind of person to what something just cause I can't have it.

Well I know that I was right but I'm starting to think that I do want somethings just because I can't have them.

Highschool is a little bit of sh*tty this year, mainly becuase I don't have my three-anegroes around to hold me down. When they are in town, I'm tryin' to kick it with them everyday. Who wouldn't wanna hang with their closest homies when you don't get too as much as the good ol' days? Here is the thing, even though I spend the majority of my kickin' it time with these dudes, before they got shipped out, I didn't feel the need to hang out with them every weekend and when they were in town for a few good weeks over the holidays, I didn't always hang out with them either. I see now that I want these guys around a lot more because they are not around. I'm sure they miss everybody back here too, even though when they spend a lot of time with them, they get annoying.

I hate walking anywhere. Always have since I got a whip, never walked much since I got in highschool anyways, except for my freshman year and a little bit of the summer afterwards when Mike and me used to do it all the time for the hell of it. No, I'm not talkin' about wanting to drive when I can't, that's a terrible example because everyone has that feeling. I'm talkin' about warm summer nights. This winter has been damn cold, it is really making me miss the summer more that ever, the summer that I CAN'T HAVE RIGHT NOW!!! Ugh.... Pissin' me off... Like I said, I hate walking but nothin' quite beats a nice walk in the perfect weather of a summer night. Even just walkin' out in my back yard and stickin' my feet in the pool, sh*t is lovely. But ya know what, can't even do it right now. IT IS SO F*CKIN' COLD! I hate the winter...

Well I hate it when it is just cold. Winter serves no purpose to me if there is no snow. And guess what, it has only snowed and stuck... once. Here atleast. It definitely did make last night a lot more interesting though. I hit a curb in my car when I lost control while I was taking Matt to Frank's and thought I broke something but I didn't thankfully. And playing in the snow with Kels and Aleisha and some other peoples was pretty fun (view pics on facebook lol). I would definitely trade the fun in the snow for fun in the sun that's for sure.

It's just ironic how just about a month ago I had something taken away from me that I really cared about. I was sh*tty and wanted it back, but I couldn't have it. Few weeks later, I could have it, but I had already moved on and didn't really care to have it back. Seems like I wanted it only because I couldn't have it. Now I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kinda want it, but i feel as if it has less value than it had at first. I feel like I'm not bothered too much by not having it. Should I feel like an ass hole for not waiting around? Naw... Definitely not.

Here's another saying that a lot of us think of as bullsh*t..."It's all about wanting what you've got..." or some other bullsh*t like that. I know I didn't get those entirely right, but everyone who reads knows what I'm getting at.

I think the whole thing goes like "It's not about wanting what you can't have, It's about loving what you've got."

Sounds pretty good to me... I think that's what I'm gonna be about. It's what we all need to be about, and sometimes all we need to do is be thankful for what we do have.

Don't pass up on something you have already because you think you can have something that is possibly better. You might get around to realizing that you let a good thing go. When you try to go back and get it, it might not be there anymore.

You can always want more, but can't always have it. And you can always, ALWAYS have less...

Marinate on that...

-->Alex Richey<--