I feel like home has changed since the last time I was in town for a long period, the people particularly. Some people that I make a valiant effort to see when I'm around, I don't really care to speak to very much anymore, but that's not entirely my fault. It seems that when I talk, they don't do quite as well to talk back. Maybe they're stuck up their boyfriend/girlfriend's asses, I'm not sure. Oh well...
You'd think with some of the things that have happened since I've been back, I'd be ready to get back to school as soon as possible. Sprained my ankle (but I guess that can happen anywhere), blew a tire on the interstate.. Home's not really to blame, but it happened here. I hate that all I really do when I'm here is work, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. The tire thing is probably to blame for that though. These things always happen...
And even though I say all I really do here is work, I can't complain about that. I thoroughly enjoy my job. It's changed a lot in the past three years since I've started, but it's always there. I've built some of the best relationships I'll ever have because of that place, crazy. Maybe I just wish I had more down time.. Breaks are for relaxing and I feel like I do much more than when I'm at school.
I really enjoyed Christmas this year though.. This time around, it seemed much more about family for me than usual. I guess with not being around much this past year and a half, I start to miss everyone.
As silly as this sounds I feel like it's time for me to find a girl. I mean, it's been forever and I feel all kinds of lonely sometime. I know that makes me sound like a bitch, but whatever.. I know that will only happen at school, I'm not willing enough to come back all the time to make a relationship work here at home. I've heard that you find the one you're looking for when you're not really looking for them... Guess I'm screwed. Then again, perhaps I've already met her, but she's not available right now for whatever reason. I think that's it... Guess I'll just wait and see.
I still want to go back of course, and I don't really want to put it off any longer. I guess I just wish I would have done more while I was here to begin with. I'm excited to see what this next semester has in store for me, but I also don't know how much I care. I guess I need a real break, fall was stressful enough for one year.
I can tell I've been taking home for granted this break. When I really indulge in this place, it make my mind work so much better and I can write more. This is the first time I've done it in so long, guess I'm kind of disappointed in myself. Guess I've been doing too much stuff that I could just be doing at school, even though I'm sure I don't do many things different besides school itself. Guess it's the mind state.
I just realize even more now that it only takes one moment for you to see how much you love something. That moment for me was last night, that something is home. This will always be home and it's really not so bad after all... I wouldn't change it for a thing.
-->Alex Richey<--
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