This Always Happens

I don't know what it is about home man... I spend all my time wanting to go back to school and it only takes one instance right at the end of my stay to make me wish I had more time here. Crazy, this break has been nothing like ones in the past. If anything, I've done much more to separate myself from here, but now I wish I had more time.

I feel like home has changed since the last time I was in town for a long period, the people particularly. Some people that I make a valiant effort to see when I'm around, I don't really care to speak to very much anymore, but that's not entirely my fault. It seems that when I talk, they don't do quite as well to talk back. Maybe they're stuck up their boyfriend/girlfriend's asses, I'm not sure. Oh well...

You'd think with some of the things that have happened since I've been back, I'd be ready to get back to school as soon as possible. Sprained my ankle (but I guess that can happen anywhere), blew a tire on the interstate.. Home's not really to blame, but it happened here. I hate that all I really do when I'm here is work, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. The tire thing is probably to blame for that though. These things always happen...

And even though I say all I really do here is work, I can't complain about that. I thoroughly enjoy my job. It's changed a lot in the past three years since I've started, but it's always there. I've built some of the best relationships I'll ever have because of that place, crazy. Maybe I just wish I had more down time.. Breaks are for relaxing and I feel like I do much more than when I'm at school.

I really enjoyed Christmas this year though.. This time around, it seemed much more about family for me than usual. I guess with not being around much this past year and a half, I start to miss everyone.

As silly as this sounds I feel like it's time for me to find a girl. I mean, it's been forever and I feel all kinds of lonely sometime. I know that makes me sound like a bitch, but whatever.. I know that will only happen at school, I'm not willing enough to come back all the time to make a relationship work here at home. I've heard that you find the one you're looking for when you're not really looking for them... Guess I'm screwed. Then again, perhaps I've already met her, but she's not available right now for whatever reason. I think that's it... Guess I'll just wait and see.

I still want to go back of course, and I don't really want to put it off any longer. I guess I just wish I would have done more while I was here to begin with. I'm excited to see what this next semester has in store for me, but I also don't know how much I care. I guess I need a real break, fall was stressful enough for one year.

I can tell I've been taking home for granted this break. When I really indulge in this place, it make my mind work so much better and I can write more. This is the first time I've done it in so long, guess I'm kind of disappointed in myself. Guess I've been doing too much stuff that I could just be doing at school, even though I'm sure I don't do many things different besides school itself. Guess it's the mind state.

I just realize even more now that it only takes one moment for you to see how much you love something. That moment for me was last night, that something is home. This will always be home and it's really not so bad after all... I wouldn't change it for a thing.

-->Alex Richey<--

The Best Investment

So what's the most worthy investment you've ever made? Car? Some nice headphones? A phone that does practically everything?

We all have some things like that we all adore, maybe it's something else. The things you love the most are usually the ones you got on your own. Usually, if it's one of those things, probably wasn't the best investment to tell the truth, if the readers are my age at least. We all spend money on stupid stuff that makes us happy at the time, I know how pissed I get when I beat a video game that I dropped $60 on and can't do much with once the story's over. Hence why I download music, it's not guaranteed to be something worth listening to.

Real talk...

Sometimes I dream bigger than I live.. Like, it'd be nice to be able to please everyone and myself. But I know, that's not possible. Making someone happy is gonna piss someone else off, making yourself happy, that'll piss even more people off. That's just how things work. We do what we can, well some of us, I know I do and that it's not always enough. And of course, you can't help someone who doesn't want it, even though it doesn't hurt to try. Hopefully they remember. I know I've said that stuff before.

Anybody that knows me well enough, knows I'm a Fight Club fanatic... Silly right? A movie, well more than a movie to me. Watching this movie multiple times and a conversation with Will Watt has made me realize how I contradict myself on exactly what I've been preaching. "The things you own, will end up owning you." Yeah, I want a $300 pair of headphones because I love some music more than most things. But, I know that I don't need that, it goes against a lot of what I believe. "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." But we still buy it because we want it, unworthy investments.

I've come to realize that the best investments that we can make, is investments in people. The greatest gifts you can give are not material, they are time, and yourself. I used to say "I spend money because spending time is hopeless." Yeah that's a Drake line, but I believed it. I was so wrong.

I'm not much for karma, but I feel like this is the most common example of it. If you invest in people, it will reward you in the end. When you know you've done the right thing, there is a sense of fulfillment in that. Investing time is basically investing yourself. What is our best answer not to do something? "Not worth my time." Time is the most valuable thing we have in this world, the most wonderful thing we can invest in another. Giving time is like giving love.

I try to invest as much as myself as possible into those that I care about, sometimes it is just not enough. You try to have a conversation and that person just doesn't want to hear it because they've already made up in their mind that you cannot be right. Let the selfishness blind them, they're just not worth the investment obviously. But eventually, they'll realize that you tried to do right by them. Can't steer you wrong.

A recent conversation I had with a friend while sitting in Moe's made me realize something else I was doing wrong. Just too much of trying to invest myself in people... I never really thought about it like that. He made me realize that I needed to do less of that, more of investing in myself. All of a sudden, it all made sense. That "you can't please anyone until you please yourself" stuff, stuff that I had also been preaching but never really thought I had a problem with, until now. Thanks, Carson.

I know I'm not the only one. Trying to please people, thinking that it'll be the ultimate pleasure. Yeah, it's nice but you gotta make sure you are doing right by yourself first or you're just not doing right at all.

Regardless to who reads this stuff, I really dunno if anyone does for real, but I don't care, I won't stop writing, I'm investing in myself by doing so I realize now. Whenever I'm done with it, if I ever am, I'll know I've done what I should have and that makes me happy.

So yeah, please people, but make sure you can afford to do it with yourself. If you must spend money, don't do things like buy your mom a gift, buy her lunch so you can hang out with her. Material is only temporary, unless it's diamonds, but diamonds can't by people, diamonds can't by time.

Diamonds are forever, but time is not. Give time while you have it, to yourself and the people you love. When you give time, you give love.

-->Alex Richey<--

Packing my life into my trunk again.

So.. Tomorrow is that day where I'm back to Evansville as a permanent place of residence for the next 10 months. As much as I go on about how happy this would usually make me, I've never felt so negatively about it. Crazy right?

Truth is, this Summer as short as it was, has undoubtedly been the greatest one of my life. I feel like I've never done so much good for myself and others, sad part is I still don't feel as if I've done enough. I wish I just had some more time. You can do so much, and yet never to enough, and most certainly cannot do too much. I'm glad the weather is as incredible as it has been these past couple days so I can just really enjoy my last bit of time here.

Where do I begin?

Well, thank God for The Rising.. That's for sure. I've never known such an incredible bunch of people, a family. There is so much love in this one place, it would blow one's mind. Definitely the biggest influence on this great summer I have had. Just getting involved there, starting with Bigstuf... All the new friends I have, it makes leaving home so much harder when you know a lot of people are here that care. I just can't say enough about that place. I owe so much to the place, to the person who brought it to my attention, to the people I've met there. I hope I can bring someone there and it have that same impact on them. My relationship with God isn't just so much better because of the place, it actually exist because of the place. It's gotten to be strong enough to where I know I won't need it forever to keep the relationship strong. It just makes me want to give so much more than I have. One thing I'll never forget, was baptizing one of my best friends. Wanna talk about feeling awesome, that'll do it for ya.

I feel so bad about this summer sometimes... I'm sorry to all the people I didn't get to spend the time with I know I should have. Mckenna, Secoy, Rachel, Kelsey, The Byas family, my own family... I'm really sorry to them. Just some of those things I didn't dedicate myself too enough. I feel like crap for it, but I guess I'm only human. And how in the world I went through a grand and didn't even go shopping, I don't know.. I feel like I'm a fool.. So does my dad ha..

And how little I worked this Summer.. I had big plans for myself, in regards to income. I was gonna do so much with myself financially, and get ready for this coming year.. Well that all went to hell. I ain't even gonna take that blame on my own though.. I can't say I didn't try. Don't ever cheat anyone, ESPECIALLY YOURSELF.

What else... Well, I got a tattoo done this Summer, that will stick with me forever. I think that's pretty cool. I'm glad I got something done I came up with on my own, in my own handwriting even. That makes it a lot more special to me, being something I believe in. And yeah, definitely addicting.

It's a shame that I had to cap off my summer with some bad news.. but I can't really let it bring me down. So what I gotta find another place to live, yeah I'm not happy about it, but that's why you plan for the worst and only HOPE for the best. Never let yourself fall short. I guess that's kinda like a losers way out, but when it's not all up to you there's not much else you can do. Yeah, school is gonna cost me quite a bit more than I had planned on this year, but it's still worth every penny.

This summer has taught me that even though things change, real friends don't. That's why I'm glad I have the tri-pod.. Still the best friends I've ever had, friends that I know I'll have forever. The first people to give me a realization of what friendship is about. I'm forever grateful...

Gotta wonder what if.. I didn't leave home for college... I didn't broaden my horizons... Never wrote a blog... Expressed myself like I only know how to... Never found God... Where would I be without all the things that keep me human? I guess that's why I say to never consider things that didn't happen, because they didn't happen, therefore it's irrelevant.

I dunno man... Life is crazy. To everyone that has been a part of this summer, thank you so much, it's been awesome. Even those of you who I didn't get to enjoy much of it with, you're still appreciated. Can't believe this summer is over.

"Though it's ending, things have only just begun. And the sky still grey, and I still seek the sun."

-Methodical Wun: The Rain

-->Alex Richey<--

Our God is doin' BIGSTUF

Don't mind the spelling, you'd get it if you were there...

Yesterday I returned home from what was undoubtedly the greatest four day span of my life. I'm talkin' like pure incredible. The BIGSTUF camp in Panama City Beach, and you thought that PCB was all about gettin' hammered drunk right? Wrong! It was used for worship, possibly the greatest example of it ever.

Everything we do is through what we think. Our thoughts reflect our words, which reflect our actions, which reflects our habits, which defines who we are. The most important thing that we think is what we think when we think about God. When we think about how great he is, the work he does, the way he loves us.

I saw there greatest gesture of God's power, watching people confess that they need Jesus in front of nearly 2000 others. Hearing one of my best friends tell me that he wanted to get baptized. Might have been the thing that I looked for the most in going there. Talking about it to someone last night brought me to tears because I am so happy, the happiest I have been in the longest time. Just to know that I helped to the work of God in being there to bring others to him is awesome.

Being a leader there meant a little extra responsibility, and more things to go to. None of us where much enthused by the extra stuff but I did hear one thing that will stick with me the rest of my life. "God uses broken people to tell his story of restoration and redemption." We are all God's broken people!!! We have all been broken at some point, those of us to allow our selves to be lifted up by God go on to tell the world of this magnificent change.

There was a time when I was the one, broken and lost... Until I found The Rising, and it did just that, raised me up. Now I'm here, restored and redeemed, ready to show someone else the light. What a bright light it is...

People will read this and think I'm crazy.. Maybe they are right, I'm crazy about God. They'll realize that the person who they went to high school with would never be writing this, that I'm not even that person anymore. The glory of God goes beyond all fame...

Besides the nearly 2000 total, the nearly 200 of the Rising is what I really care about the most. I've never made so many friends in such a short period of time, the work of God is amazing... The way that people come together for him is impossible for anything else. That alone should be enough to show one the power he has.

Romans 12:2-Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

That first sentence means change the way you think. Or maybe it says to be reborn all together. Either way, change the way you think about God until you conform to the second sentence.

There's just no real way to put it into words, you just have to be there... I'm sure it won't be my last.

Think-Live-Serve-Love

-->Alex Richey<--

Surrounded By God

So I talked to my youth pastor the other day about how I'm doing a presentation of a sermon for my religion class this week and I know what I wanna talk about, but just not sure of how to go about doing it. Matt told me to write it, like I do on here. The perfect way to start it because this stuff, well it's me. So here goes nothing...

So people ask a lot of questions about God. I mean, we have no real knowledge of God besides our own relationships. One question I'd say comes up often is "Where is God?" I believe the answer to be quite easy actually, God is everywhere. Some seem to think that you need to go to a church to find God or somewhere where people are doing the work of God like giving back in some way, something like that, no specifics. But like I said, God is everywhere, everything. God is there on a city street, amongst all the people, in this study lounge with me, in the church, everywhere you go.

Most of all, God is in you, in everyone. And as counterproductive as this sounds, you gotta pull God out of you. I know I know... Sounds weird. But think about it.. If you keep God in you, you may just bury him to deep. You have to pull God out of you, hold God above your head. This way, you can always hear him. You cannot hear what goes on inside of your body (besides your stomach sometimes of course), you cannot hear your heart beat without a stethoscope just as if you would not be able to hear God from the inside. God speaks to us, it's up to us to listen.

If we do not listen, if we do not work to build our relationship with the LORD we just bury him deeper inside us. When we do not work to keep this relationship strong, God is no longer on the outside. When we start to do things to not help us, skipping on worshiping, replacing time for God with time for other things, we create idols. This is like burying God in sand and then adding water to it. This is what you want to avoid, you may never get him back. But maybe if you realize you may be creating idols then you can fix it. You can pray, you can start living for God more often then hopefully you can pull God out of the sand.

We're all surrounded by God and there's nothing we can do about that, but it's up to us to accept the part of God that is inside us and what to do with it. Do you bury it or do you hold it high? I suggest figuring it out before you want to hold it high and it's already buried much too deep to find again...

Deuteronomy 3:16 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.

-->Alex Richey<--

A Friday Night At Home (Spring Break 2010)

I just start thinking, then the typing starts...

And there I go again... I keep telling myself (since I only write to myself it seems) that I'm gonna post a blog and that'll get me back in the loop of doing it as often as I used too... It's a shame that it doesn't work like that.

I have all these thoughts brewing up in my head that I know would make good reading material, I just never put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard, whatever).

I've realized how college changes people, big time. I'll always be me, just not the same exact me I was from 2005 to 2009. Even though I changed throughout my years of high school as well. I'm just not sure how much of a problem I have with it. Sure I hate some of the aspects, like the fact that I don't write as much as I used too. That's multiple things like being too busy on top of school just getting to me and wiping out all of the creative thinking going on in my head.

I feel like college puts you through terrible things just to make you better off in the end. Smart people will suddenly feel dumb, just for a lack of preparation when they get there. They start wanting to transfer home and things like that, start questioning their whole future. I never made it that far, but I know of some people who have.

I have gotten to the point where I feel weird being here, at home. Home? This place? No way... I spent a good couple months at school without taking a trip back here and all of a sudden it's not home anymore. I hate that I feel that way. I'm not necessarily saying that I can't wait to get back because I am definitely enjoying the time off but it's weird. I almost think I'd be enjoying it more if I just had the time off and was sitting in SigEp (my fraternity house) right now. I'm just so out of the loop with being here, I feel so weird. Maybe I just miss my roommates and the other guys.

Time is definitely helping though, especially with today. This is kind of a typical New Albany Friday night for me. I go do my thing with my friends throughout the day then come home and chill. No problem with that, those weekend nights at home is what would put me in the mood to do things like this.

I'd say I'm doing pretty well for being here on spring break, but I did want it this way. I've spent some time with some friends and family, though I wish McKenna was here as well but that's okay. She'll be 21 this summer, I'm sure we'll spend some quality time haha. I'd say the days this week with my people have been less than eventful for the most part but good times for sure (except for pregnant girls at the club). It's still not the same though, something is just not the same. Maybe it's not having the big homie around anymore, it's just not home without Trell, but I have no choice but to get used to that. Rest in paradise fam...

It doesn't help to come back and see how much things have changed here. I walk into my work and I don't know anyone, someone I do know has some new haircut, people I never imagined together have some great relationship, not to mention my house has some interior remodeling going on. I get a break from school just to come home and my dad put me to work. I'm not complaining though, it's nothing but quality time to me.

Maybe eight days is too much though, after getting so comfortable at school I mean. Christmas break was no problem because I was always on edge at school, but now that I'm comfortable there and doing all the right things like good grades, I never really want to leave. After Thursday I was ready to go back, just too much of my mom I guess. I love her but she is definitely overwhelming.

And maybe I just got a lot on my mind, and I don't want to put anything else on there. Like my (Greek) big sister would ask me about why I was making dumb decisions at school, when I knew they were bad decisions. That's a fair enough question I'd say. It took me forever to come up with a legitimate answer but then it hit me. "I'd rather deal with that empty feeling after hooking up with someone, because even though as much as it sucks it's a hell of a lot better than that awful feeling you get from a break up, or even a relationship you were almost in that never really got there. A failure." Is that fair enough? Does anyone feel me on that? I never did well with break ups, granted I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. It's not like I haven't wanted to or tried, they just fall through and I get that awful feeling again. Yeah it's not as bad as a break up but it's a lot worse than it not happening. I've stopped that though, it just took some time, being new to the whole college thing.

It's things like that, just things I get mad at myself for. There's all kinds of things on my mind, just like every other person I'm sure, but not the same things. This job opportunity in Evansville, but am I even worthy of it? The fact that I'm a super pledge weighing on me all the time, killing me that I didn't make it to that one week but I'm glad enough that I'm still around for another chance.

I prayed for a couple good friends this past weekend, right in front of them. That was not easy. People may wonder why, but that means a lot to me. I know how it makes me feel when someone prays for me, especially right there with me in front of them. I remember the first time Matt did, that was just the beginning of a new life for me, or the preview to it. But meaning so much to me made it hard because that's the person I want to be, I want to be that person people ask for that, because of the way I look up to those people that ask for prayers from. I just don't know if I'm quite worthy of it, but I want to be, a lot more than some other things.

I spent some quality time with a friend tonight, seems like it brought back some old feelings. I don't know what to think of that, being in Evansville and what not. But I can't pretend to act like I forgot those old feelings, like they died when I moved or something like that, that text message I got definitely made me think. I catch myself reading it more than once so I'm sure I read it right. I just hope she's not putting something on herself she doesn't want to think about.

Jeeze.... what am I doing haha, I love to put myself on blast like this. What I strange life I lead, but I can't help it. Without this, I'm just that mysterious type to those I'm not close to I guess. It's not like anyone reads it anyways. This break's bout over, John Mayer concert tomorrow, can't wait for that one. Then Sunday it's back to school, gotta go to church though. I don't know what I would do without Northside that's for sure, that's one thing that helps make this place feel like home.

"Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood. They say we stand for nothin' and there's no way we ever could. Now we see everything that's goin' wrong with the world and those who lead it, we just feel like we don't have to means to rise above and beat it. So we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change. We keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change. It's hard to beat the system when we're standing at a distance. So we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change."

-->Alex Richey<--

He Dropped The World

I'll remember it as long as I shall live... December 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm I received that phone call. It was my buddy Kyle calling me up, I figured he was trying to invite to do something that night since we had just ran into each other the day before. Dude couldn't even keep his sentences together...

"A-Rich I need to you to t-t-t-take me seriously right now... like as serious as ever,"

"okay whats up bud?"

"I'm not kidding, this is serious..." At this point I'm annoyed

"Dude what the hell do you have to tell me?"

"Dude Trell... Trell's dead..."

"No... no no no no.... your kidding me"

"No I'm not, he died earlier... he... he's gone..."

We talked for a few minutes but nothing else we said mattered after that. I called Biddy to end up talking to Lamar, only to hear Biddy crying in the background. I call Brandon, knowing he's four hours away. It took a few attempts to get a hold of him, but it only hurt to talk to him hearing the state that he was in.

I was like in shock... It was kinda like everything around me just stopped, or it blurred or something, things were just not making sense at all. It amazing some of the things I saw on facebook within hours after the event. You realized how many people were affected.

I'd say I'm a strong person, I've dealt with a lot, I don't really cry. I can honestly say that me and Trell were one of each others' best friends, we were more than that, him, Brandon, Biddy, and myself were a family, are a family, we were accepted as part as his family. I got a lot weaker that day, I didn't cry much, but I still did. This was the single biggest loss I had ever suffered in my life.

I got really pissed off at a lot of people that night, I mean we did, the three of us. When we were invited to drink in his memory by a bunch of people that weren't the friends to him that we are. It was selfish of us no doubt, but we were pissed off, our brother was taken from us and we didn't want to go anywhere to have what could possibly be a good time and we were pissed off that so called friends were doing that. We actually went, and we really had to leave, wasn't our scene that night.

I realized in that selfishness that even though we were the tripod(them being the three legs and me being deemed by Trell as the short arm that points the camera) Trell was a real personal dude. If you didn't like Trell, something was wrong with you, really wrong. He was there for people, he was the muscle in our crew, he was the shoulders, he was a shoulder for everyone. The three of us, hell the four of us because I can't forget Chris lost our shoulders that day.

I so bad wanted to wake up the next day and this be a dream, I'm still in that dream I feel like because it's so surreal. I'm glad I got in touch with God when I did for I would've rejected God after this. Ended up needed God more than ever after this.

We were one day away from all being together. The next day Brandon was gonna be home and we were probably all gonna get trashed together who knows what the hell we would've done, it just would've been great to have us all in the same room again because it had been forever. It would've been just like my junior year when I became part of that crew. The statuesque tradition of movie night. We wasn't always watching a movie but there was always a movie playing. Sometimes it was just us, sometimes it became a party but no matter what it turned into, it was always us. It was our thing, it's what we did and we never did much else because all we ever needed was each other. Always at "Olde Town...my house...third floor...on the couch" as Trell would say. That's where we made our memories and we had plenty more to make.

Every great memory I recall from high school involves these guys, I even remember the first time I ever hung out with them. I was and will always be "token white boy" and they'll always be my niggas, I might not ever call anyone else that... probably shouldn't. I remember when I got to my senior year, I was miserable without them but once they came back it was on. Back to the good old days.

I remember during the wake, I don't know how I ended up at the podium speaking but I did, I had to fight back the tears, he wouldn't want that. I got up there and told about the good times, because Trell was a good times type of guy and I had to do what I could to put a smile on the face of my self and everyone else, that guy was always smiling. I don't get to see that smile anymore, don't get to make anymore stories. I hate that seeing him in a box was the first time I had seen him in way too long. We had just talked a couple days prior, about the weekend too. It was on our agenda to get together.

That funeral service was a hard day. I think that's when it all sunk in. I was one of the honorary pall bearers, Biff, Chris, Biddy, Brandon, and myself. One mentor, one apprentice, and the remaining pieces of the tripod. I sat there, soaking up all that was being said, watering up here and there but never really crying. Until it was over, until we stood up to take one more look and to walk by the family. We were close to that family, we are close to that family. When Trell was in Iowa at school I would still stop by the Olde Towne to see the fam, I was the token white boy to that whole family not just those three. But walking past there was when I lost it, probably the hardest cry I ever cried. I really felt like the whole week of him passing had hit me and the fact that I have to spend the rest of my life without my nigga had all just hit me. It was the single worst feeling I had ever felt. It still hurts.

Brandon, Biddy, and myself shared a hug in the lobby. Tellin' each other that were all we have left, our crew took a major blow there but were still gonna stay strong, he'll keep us that way in spirit. We know that even though we don't spend near as much time together as we used to that shit hasn't changed. There's no doubt in my mind that I'd jump in front of a bullet for those guys and I know they'd do the same.

Trell was that person that you didn't want to let down, if you was messing up, you didn't want to admit it to him. He demanded the best from everyone and did whatever he could to be the best for himself. The promise that Chris made to Trell to get an education outside of Clarksville is the most important promise that Chris will ever keep because that will better him and Trell knew it, and Chris would not let Trell down. Real friends never would and nobody would want to let Trell down because he was trying to look out for everyone. He was the shoulders for everyone.

He held the world up with those shoulders, and when he dropped, so did the world...

I'm gonna recover, I mean I'm done crying. This can't get any worse, God forbid I lose another person. But I can't lose Trell again, I just have to go the rest of my days without him. That's shitty but it's life. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, shit I hope so. Mourning is just as much a part of life as celebrating, that's something I've learned from this. So I tell our stories of the great times we had to celebrate the life he lived, to celebrate the fact that I know we'll hold movie nights in the sky one day. It's gonna seem like a short time once were there. I'm gonna celebrate the fact that I know that me and the guys have a guardian angel looking over us at all times now because he was that the entire time, but now we just can't see him or speak with him. We don't need to, he knows we love him and we know he loves us.

He told us not to sweat the small stuff, he's probably shaking his head at me right now for being the emotional wreck that I am but I can't help it, now I have to just remember him saying it instead of actually hearing it.

Jeantrell Aushant Byas (11/24/89-12/18/09), "Tiny", number 77, Rest In Paradise my brother... Save some room for me on that sectional couch I'm sure your playin' xbox on for when the rest of us show up...

He loved them head phones, I had to get me a pair as well...

I could never write something good enough, but I had to write something... He'd appreciate it I know he would. My world will always be missing something now, a piece fell off when it dropped and broke, broke my heart but will never break the love I have for mine...

Tripod Forever

-->Alex Richey<--