This Imperfect Life

It's a lovely summer night...

I've been waiting on this since like what? Blog 10? Lol it feels damn good outside right about now. It's maybe a little cooler than I'd prefer but still, at the moment I'm really enjoying myself and being outside on a summer night is really the only time I can enjoy myself, by myself.

I feel like as I get older that it becomes easier for me to be okay with me to be alone, not like a loner but like right now. I used to absolutely hate going and doing something with friends then coming home, drove me crazy but now I've got to the point were I'm totally ok with it.

So until yesterday for a week I was without my cellular, it wasn't hell but it definitely was not pleasant. It didn't kill me but I definitely would not want to do it again. During the time I only talked to a few people, the ones that I see or talk to on a daily. I was without text messaging so I was without talking to a large amount of people. This made graduation set in very quickly. The reason I didn't blog about graduation the day of or any day soon after is because it never really hit me, but those several days without my cellphone cut off communication to most of my friends and I was without my classmates the entire time. I then got a sample of what it is soon to be like. It didn't necessarily sadden me because it is expected but it was different. Like, I could live without these people but I wouldn't necessarily want to and it most likely would not be the same life. It's amazing how one thing as simple as a cell phone can change so much of the way your life is.

Now as I sit here and do what I usually do when I'm alone, I think about how perfect and imperfect things are. If you didn't catch that, when I'm alone I reflect on life. The gears are always turning, I'm always thinking. I've had a really tough life, I've dealt with plenty of adversity and hard times, but have managed to pull through. Now I feel like karma is in my favor and the hard life that I had growing up with things falling apart and promises being broken, now it seems like things are only going in a positive direction. Of course things can be great but never perfect... But I'm far from complaining.

I owe so much to my closest of friends, the ones I have had the past few years and some for even just a few months, the ones that have been the true friends. The ones I can relate to, the ones that can help me through the ups and downs that I have been through because they understand where I'm coming from with it. The people that didn't have to be there but were.

Brandon Frazier; always a dude that I have looked to for advice, a man who I have chosen to follow a similar path and with good reason. Someone I can look up to but also not put on a pedestal. Always more than meets the eye, one of the best friends I've ever had. I don't need an essay to show how big a part of my life this guy is.

Jeantrell Byas; the muscle, the quiet one. The one person who can understand anything and most likely relate to it all as well. The one to go to when I or any of our friends really needed to talk to someone about something. Everyones' shoulder.

Robert Myers; Biddy, a little late on responsibility lol but it's all good.. Maybe the most chill person I know but always there to lighten up a situation, always able to make a place way more fun, but surprisingly thats not all he is about. Just like the other two of the tripod that I learned to call fam he is as deep and as intelligent as they come. A little man, a huge presence.

I didn't think I'd make it through my senior year without these three but I did just fine. It was hard at first but they aren't the type of friends that would allow me to throw it all away when they know that I've put in a lot of work, that I've gone through too much to let it all be a waste. The tripod, and as trell put it, I'm the little handle on top that swindles the camera around. These three were the first to ever make me feel like I belonged somewhere.

Also I can't forget...

Kelsey Becker; practially my sister for like six years now ever since we had a personal journal in the 7th grade to write notes back and forth too. That was cute... My prom date, both times. One of the most beautiful people I have ever met and I'm sure, will ever know. It helped having her in school with me for those years, even when high school came and we never shared classes. My "American Sister" lets not go there lol...

Michael Chrisman; Crispy. Probably the first person that ever got me to try new things. Got me to like soccer and got me into church, wow. The friend I needed when all the real friends I had were away. The biggest smart ass in the world, without a doubt but you get used to it. Christian, Chrispan, Crimson, and even Cheeseman, however you get his last name messed up, that's still my dude.

Chris Smith; brother bear. He has his nickname for a reason. He's just the type of friend to come to the rescue when someone needs it. Been friends since the diaper days and still good friends today. Hopefully the separation of college don't change that. I could never forget the nights when it was us and the tripod, talkin bout how McDonalds stole his ideas, or having the time of our lives during movie night.

Mickey Callis; the hero. Only a man that I have known for a very short time but time well worth it. Now as he goes away to basic training in less than a week I can only wish for more time for him to be around but we all know that wishing gets you nowhere as I know is truthful here. Just an all around great guy who I'm gonna miss for the time he is gone, especially while he can't talk to anyone. A man making a sacrifice by joining the army, a hero in the making.

John Gray; the animal eater. Maybe the best dancing that I've ever seen on a white guy in my life. The life of the party, maybe the funniest man alive too. First time I met him had a "J" shaved in his chest, wow. Qualifies for class clown but doesn't take away from the person that he is. Just one of those people that I own plenty of good times too, especially when I needed them the most.

As I sit out here and watch the wind blow through the flowers in my back yard I think about my future. The flowers have bloomed just as my life soon will. I'm about to go away to school, I'm about to do something with my life.

The life I have lived, as hard as it may have been, after I look at what it has come to at this point, I realize that it has been a damn good life. Through ups and downs I cant think of anything that is a legitimate complaint at this point. I somewhat want to have a girl in my life to share my current happiness with, because I'd really like some affection in my life but it's okay.

I think that right now is the best I have felt in a long time. I'm not broke, my friends are all here, i have a new car that I love, I don't have any problems that I can think of like drama or anything, life is just pretty good right now. Never perfect, but damn good. I just graduated with an honors diploma that I wasn't sure I was gonna get and I got a scholarship worth 104k, damn right I feel like I'm the man.

I feel like I'm a prime example of someone who has made it. I'm not done yet but I'm not turning back. I'll be the first Richey to go to college. If I can do it, I'm sure as hell not the only one.

Life will always be imperfect, remember that. But it's possible to have that perfect imperfection. In my mind I am living my life to the best of my abilities and it is the perfect state of mind for this life. If things continue to get better, maybe one day I'll be writing "This Perfect Life" but that day hasn't come yet.

Something in life will always be amiss and you gotta learn to accept that now so it doesn't keep your from being as happy as you can be. You can probably pick out plenty of things now that you would like to have different but honestly that doesn't matter if your happy. I'll think about this blog tomorrow and even if I feel like I did a good job, I'll notice something I left out, that's the way it is.

Just live your life as perfectly imperfect as you can, life is way too short to try to reach perfection. You'll die trying to get there. So if your happy, just hit the cruise control, there is no point in accelerating to the end of the road, it may be a dead end. Don't rush into the end of a good time, there is always days we wished last forever, but one life is much longer than one day.

A good life, will last a lifetime...

-->Alex Richey<--

(perfected)